You’re not doing well and maybe sometimes you’re feeling downright miserable. Yet you truly believe there is something better out there for you. So you’re ready to try counseling. There are many paths to find a therapist but ultimately fit really matters.
Here are 7 ways to find a great therapist. The one who will be a great fit for you:
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Your gut is so wise.
As you’re exploring, you’ll see information about therapists online (their website, Psychology Today profile or their social media) or in marketing materials. Most of all, just notice when you feel safe and comfortable because they know how to speak to your issues, you can tell what they are about, and you believe in their expertise or their ability to relate to you.
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Find an expert on treating your need.
Find the person who is an expert on a problem you’re facing or area of need you have. For example, if you get uncontrollably angry, and Counselor Annie who leads anger management groups and works with couples and really knows a lot about this, try to find the “Counselor Annie” for whatever you’re looking for. Maybe she’s even written a book, a blog and a podcast on anger. You’re sure to learn a lot and grow from working with Annie! You might find someone who specifically works with ADHD, PTSD, families of someone with an addiction, perinatal mental health, people planning families around infertility, it goes on and on.
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Look for a skill set that matches your personality or treatment preferences.
Therapists have an arsenal of approaches that vary far and wide. If they are using terms you can’t understand, I’m sorry. We don’t always agree with each other on terms and the people we want to help get caught in the middle. Some approaches people may want to find: DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy), holistic, family therapy, couples counseling, eating disorder treatment, play therapy, EMDR, sex therapy. If you don’t have a particular approach in mind, that’s okay too. Many approaches are evidence-based. Find more info on evidence-based approaches.
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Try out fit in person.
Some people want more directive therapists or more expressive therapists who may use art. Some want therapists to tell them what to do, some want no judgment and want to explore. One thing people don’t know, if there is not a match, don’t chuck the idea of therapy out the window! If after 3-4 sessions you are not getting what you’re after, make a switch. That means it was a wrong turn for you, get back on the highway and keep going. Perhaps your therapist can help you find someone who is a better fit if you can describe more of what you’re seeking. Therapists are very unique, so the next person you try may have a totally different approach and set of skills.
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In general, avoid a generalist!
If someone treats everyone, it’s like a restaurant that makes everything. Nothing is very good. So if you have an eating disorder you’re trying to get help with, someone who is treating small children and couples and people with phobias and everyone who walks in the door, they don’t have as much for you and what you need.
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Explore your out of network benefits.
You don’t have to see only therapists who are covered as in network by your insurance. Isn’t that great? Your insurance company can tell you what those benefits are. Insurance may cover no, a portion or all of the cost of therapy without the person being in network! And then you can also submit to flexible spending whatever amount you’ve paid.
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Recommendations from others.
Does your doctor have a recommendation? Has anyone you know been through something similar and can recommend someone you can see for counseling? If you start asking, you’ll be surprised who around you has gotten help and been able to turn things around. Almost all people who seem to have it all together probably got there with some support. Even if you and your needs are a bit different, that therapist probably treated them well or they wouldn’t recommend them.
