Anxiety is unavoidable and some of us handle our anxiety better than others. Some people are genetically wired to be more anxious. Still, we have to help ourselves through it to keep it from absorbing our time and energy. Having your own weird ways to cope is an absolute must. So be weird! How you relieve anxiety can be unique and special to you. I’m going to share ongoing some mental strategies you can keep trying out to help you when you’re anxious. Try them out when you’re a little anxious so you have some muscle memory for when you’re a lot anxious.
The First Tip (More to Come in the Future): Talk to Yourself–But Use a Best Friend Voice
“Self-talk” means what you say to yourself. Your self-talk can affect the way you get think and act. You can say “that went well,” and remind yourself of the positives or say to yourself, “I’m just going to get through this day, then it’ll be over, and then I’m going to talk to my mom about how this day went.” Picture something fun you’re going to do when you’re through this situation, to remind yourself that it’s over and you got through it.
You probably know that there is less helpful self-talk. Telling yourself you’re stupid or predicting failure makes any situation more difficult than it has to be. It adds to the anxiety.
So far, this hasn’t been all that weird, but here goes: research also shows that using your name and talking to yourself like an outsider (like your own best friend) is best. For example, “Jennifer, you are an incredible teacher and you are going to be a natural at that presentation today.”
Here’s a situation:
You have to take a test that you know will be long and complicated. You’ve already studied and done what you can. It’s time to take the test now.
What can you say to yourself that would be helpful self-talk? It is not necessarily to immediately believe it for it to be helpful.
What do you have coming up that you feel somewhat anxious about?
Practice talking to yourself about it in a way that feels empowering to you.
